Say you have to be at work at six-thirty in the morning. And say you go to bed at ten-thirty. Then let's say you look at the clock and it says eleven-thirty, and you think to yourself, "Wow, I'm pretty much not tired." Say all those things happen, and when they happen, what do you do?
Do you think to yourself, "Boy, I bet I know someone else who isn't sleeping, and I bet that someone else wouldn't be averse to drinking gin until last call?" Do you, moments after having said thought, call up said friend and invite them to the space room for stiff gin drinks? Do they accept your invitation and spend the rest of the night drinking well gin at rock bottom prices? One and one half hours into the whole affair does someone walk over to the free-of-charge juke box and put on some Al Green? Does hearing Al Green make you wish inside that you could hear "Let's Stay Together?" Does Jesus intervene and make the next song to play be none other than "Let's Stay Together?" Does everyone in the bar decide that "Let's Stay Together" is the kind of song that makes them want to sing along? Do you join in the chorus?
Do you order one last gin drink to celebrate a rare good fortune? Do you follow it up with another gin drink to celebrate your last gin drink? Does your companion commend you outside the space room for ordering a radio cab? Do you tell your companion that you didn't order no fucking cab, but that you intend to drunk drive, but that it's cool, you're just going over the bridge?
Is Jesus a little disappointed in you, after all he's done to make your night special? In spite of his disappointment, does Jesus allow you to get home without incident? Fucking A, that Jesus, man, huh? He's pretty alright, don't you think?
So, lets say all this happens, and you make it home, alive and well. Let's say you open the fridge and find a beer. Let's say you open that beer and make with the drinking of it. Does your head fill up with questions?
As a matter of fact, I still am. And speaking of matters of fact, the fact of the matter is that I was, earlier tonight, reminded of the fact that I love this song. It was a pizza shop that did the reminding. The pizza shoppery was vicarious, though; a friend told me about it as I was too cowardly to experience it first hand. We've all, at some point in our lives, been traumatized by a pizza shoppe. It's a part of growing up, nigh on unavoidable really.
Another one of those things you can't avoid, though, no matter how much one might wish to, one of those unavoidable things is friends. You put on your best evil face, the one you honed for hours in front of public restroom mirrors and unleashed on panhandlers with small cups in preparation for those rare instances when one human being, one soul more miserable than yourself might attempt to latch on to your independence. When you're young the practice fails to make perfect and you inadvertently wind up with people who say that they are your "friends." You and I know that they are liars, but that doesn't absolve you from responsibility.
These are the people, these inglorious bastards, they remind you of the heartaches of pizza shoppes past. You tell them in no uncertain terms that you want to hear no stories of pizza shoppes and guys named Ben, but they won't stop. They have that freedom, that freedom to overstep established boundaries because they are your friends, and there is an unconditionality that comes with such a weighty distinction. These folks saw right through your evil face, and as a consequence you must let them in on your darkest secrets and, more tragically, you must listen to their stories about their herpes positive boyfriend whom they love despite the lack of full disclosure. It's not even the fact that they now have herpes that bothers them; it's the ambiguity of expression from Ben. Ben acts as though he doesn't love them, but all girls know that you don't give herpes to someone you don't love. Thank god for absolute truths such as those; without them the world would be so enigmatic.
I posted this a long time ago but I deleted it when I sobered up because sobriety does crazy things to people. The song came up tonight in conversation and I wished to share this whole rest of it, but it wouldn't have worked. It is so hard talking to new people because you don't know how long to wait before you let them in on the fact that you are totally fucking insane. Anyways, here's the old stuff:
As I sit here half, nay, three-fourths drunk on unfiltered sake, I have no choice but to ask the question: Why the fuck am I 1 /1 drunk on sake?!? Well, I’ll tell you why. First off, it’s part way a gamble, a gamble that I won’t be working in the morning, but that is rather esoteric, so I won’t waste anymore time on it. Secondly, and by secondly I mean most importantly, it is because I was in the store last night and I saw some shimmering blue bottles of wine, and I can’t resist blue bottles. The bottles are guilty.
You see, there’s this song, a Babybird song. The song is called Aluminium Beach (aluminium being British for aluminum), and in this song there is a verse that says:
<i>There’s sunshine in your eyes, It shimmers like blue bottle flies.</i>
But I, with my affinity for blue bottles, always heard the verse as:
<i>There’s sunshine in your eyes, It shimmers like blue bottled wine.</i>
So, what I’m driving at is that sometimes we hear the lyrics as we want to hear them rather than as they actually are, which is one of the beautiful things about music. Like most other forms of art, we are able to interpret songs in the manner that we best see fit. As someone who has been known to be meddling with a pencil/pen/microphone/camera, I understand that the mission of the artist can be to eliminate all interpretations other than that which is intended, but I still adore the fact that things will be interpreted as they are interpreted.
That being said, there is this one song that I used to hear the lyrics all wrong to, and I still do when I want those special feeling that it used to give me. It’s a Nirvana song, a song called Lounge Act. But wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. You see, there was this thing a few years ago. This thing were I was explaining the same thing to this dude, this dude who I slowly but surely realized was much smarter than I could ever give myself credit for, despite the strong bias in my favor. This dude, this dude he tells me about how Black Francis once explained that his initial lyrics for the song Tame focused strongly on the word Pain, and that Mr. Francis opted for Tame instead for reasons best left unparaphrased (but I bet you can figure out for yourself). In the same conversation it came up that although Mr. Francis sings “I am Un Chien Andalusia,” which sounds a lot like “I am a shit and a loser,” the actual name of the movie is Un Chien Andalou. It became apparent to me at the time (and surely to my friend long before) that perhaps some of the best lyricist of my generation, and of many generations prior may have seen fit to take advantage of assonance to be more oblique. I tell you, as not one of the greatest minds of any generation, I don’t know for sure, but it seems like just the sort of thing a genius might do.
But, boy! Can I go on and on! I am sorry for polluting the MOG -O-SPHERE. What I really want to share is this song, the wrong lyrics that used to (and still do) mean so much to me, even though all the official records tell me that they are diffr’nt. So now I share with you they way I heard lounge act for ten years, before I found out I was so wrong:
<i>TRUE , CALL IT INSECURITY I COULD let you smother me. I’d like to but it couldn’t work, Trading off and taking turns. DON ‘T REGRET A THING
and I got this friend and SHE makes me feel, like I wanted more than I could steal I’ll arrest myself and wear a shield I’ll go out of my way to prove I still STILL LOVE YOU
Don’t tell me what I want to hear Afraid I’ll never know a fear Experience anything UNIQUE I’ll keep fighting jealousy Jealous fucking GUY
And I’ve got this friend, and SHE makes me feel like I Wanted more than I could steal I’ll arrest myself, I’ll wear a shield I’ll go outta my way to prove I still STILL LOVE YOU
TRUE – CALL IT insecurity I could let you smother me Like to but it couldn’t work Trading off, taking turns Don’t regret a thing And I’ve got this friend, and SHE makes me feel like I Wanted more than I could steal I’ll arrest myself, I’ll wear a shield I’ll go outta my way to make you a deal We’ve made a pact to learn from who And ever we want THEN WE WILL DO AND IT STILL WON ‘T STOP WHAT WE DO
I’LL GO OUT OF MY WAY TO PROVE I STILL STILL LOVE YOU AND I STILL STILL LOVE YOU</i>
But the real lyrics, the internets tell me, are as follows:
<i>Truth – covered in security I can’t let you smother me I’d Like to, but it couldn’t work Trading off, taking turns Don’t regret a thing And I’ve got this friend, you see Who makes me feel and I Wanted more than I could steal I’ll arrest myself, I’ll wear a shield I’ll go outta my way to prove I still Smell her on you
Don’t – tell me what I wanna hear Afraid of never knowing fear Experience anything you need I’ll keep fighting jealousy ‘til it’s fucking gone
And I’ve got this friend, you see Who makes me feel and I Wanted more than I could steal I’ll arrest myself, I’ll wear a shield I’ll go outta my way to prove I still Smell her on you
Truth – covered in security I can’t let you smother me Like to but it couldn’t work Trading off, taking turns Don’t regret a thing And I’ve got this friend, you see Who makes me feel and I Wanted more than I could steal I’ll arrest myself, I’ll wear a shield I’ll go outta my way to make you a deal We’ve made a pact to learn from who And ever we want without new rules We’ll share what’s lost and what we grew They’ll go out of their way To prove they still
Smell her on you They still, Smell her on you Smell her on you</i>
SMELL HER ON YOU ?
I totally get what the song is saying, but that doesn’t take those ten years away from me. The last five years I have been able to smell her on the other girls, or at least see her on the other girls, but for the first ten, it was all about the misheard lyrics, and if it hadn’t been the song would never have meant as much to me.
